A Thank You To The Guys Who Didn’t Treat Me Right

Sometimes, the people who screw you over in life are just as important as the people who have been there for you every step of the way. Everything and everyone we come across can be taken as a lesson, no matter how much it hurt or how much you regret it or how much you wish it would go away. What happened was important to who you are today, and one day that lesson will come in handy to your happiness.

So thank you to the guy who told me I mattered to him when I didn’t.

Even though I forgave you long ago, you taught me how to take two steps back. I learned how to be a little bit more on the defense, that not everyone says what they mean like I do. The next time someone told me I mattered to them, I knew whether or not to believe them.

And thank you to the guy who made me put my whole life in his hands, then quickly took it away without looking back.

Because of you, I grew stronger. And though I look at our relationship as the greatest mistake of my life, I now know who to put my trust in. I now know I can come back from things that ruin me. I can recognize when someone will actually take care of me, not drop me like a weight like you did.

Thank you to the guy who I let treat me the worst.

I know my boundaries now, I have self respect. I’ll never respect you, but I’ve learned what I deserve and I can compare how wonderfully I am treated now to how disgustingly you treated me then. It makes me appreciate what I have.

Thank you to the guy who cheated on me.

I never ignore my gut instincts anymore and I know I don’t deserve to come in second to anyone. I’ve learned to roll things off my shoulders and move on.

Thank you to every guy that emotionally abused me, that made me think I was worthless or that I couldn’t do this or that. Thank you for the lessons I learned from the guys who didn’t treat me right. It makes the good guys in the world seem that much greater in my eyes, I appreciate it so much more. I could never take it for granted, like you did.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/baileysjunk/

Nashville Advice Needed!

Hey guys!

Next weekend I’ll be heading out to Nashville with a couple of my friends for the long weekend🙂 We are getting into the nitty and gritty and my not so favorite part of vacation – the planning. So I thought I’d reach out for advice from anyone who has been to Nashville or even lives in the area!

My friends and I are mostly looking to eat a lot of good food (I’m a vegetarian but not all places need to be strictly vegetarian) and go to fun bars! We’ll also probably do some touristy stuff. If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment.

If you have any tips and tricks of what to avoid, best ways to get around, and what I should expect – please leave a comment on that too. Feel free to even drop a link if you’ve written a post on Nashville before!

Thanks in advance!

xoxo
Rosie

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Where I Thought I’d Be At 23

If you were to ask me 5 years ago, when I was 18 years old, where I thought I’d be when I was 23 – I would have a whole plan to reiterate to you.

I wanted to be engaged the months following my college graduation, proposed to by the age of 22. I wanted a fall wedding or maybe summer. And a year long engagement.

At 23, I would have already been married by now. Or my wedding would be coming up in the next few months.

I thought I would be living in a North Jersey suburb right outside the city, even though I don’t like North Jersey. And I would be working for an edgy, social media campaign in New York City – even though I don’t like the city.

I was supposed to have a dog and a pet pig. The mini pig was supposed to be a college graduation present. The dog would’ve come swiftly after.

I would be planning to have kids by the age of 27, two kids. One girl, one boy.

But now I’m 23, and everything about where I thought I’d be makes my head spin. I don’t want any of those things and I’m completely happy.

To be engaged after college would have been thoroughly stressful for me, between figuring out how to cope with the real world and finding a job. The last thing I ever would have wanted was to plan a wedding and commit myself to someone before I knew what the hell I was doing.

And even after landing a job, to get married within the first few months of working would have been insane. I wouldn’t have been able to afford living in the suburbs – not that I ever even wanted to! I was going to live and work in places I didn’t even like to make someone else happy. And now I live in the place I truly wanted to be and work at a job I love.

As much as I like dogs, I can barely take care of myself. And I’ve kind of figured out that mini pigs are so cute, but they come from breeders and there are so many homeless animals that would need my help first.

I don’t even want kids! I found out almost two years ago that I don’t like spending more than a couple of hours with them at a time, and I wanted TWO in a span of FOUR YEARS.

You can’t plan your future. You are always changing and circumstances are always changing – your plan for the next five years is merely a guideline. But it doesn’t always work out because who you are now and who you were then are two very different people, who have yet to experience certain things.

I’m not who I thought I’d be at 23 and I’m totally fine with it.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/hernanpc/

Everyone Settles In Some Way

There are different ways that you can settle. You can settle for a job that you might love. You can settle for an apartment that you just feel “eh” about. You can settle for a relationship.

Ever since my last relationship, I’ve been terrified of settling. Mostly because I saw a lot of people graduate with me who just clung on to the first girl/guy they saw and made it into a relationship. It was a good time to settle down, so they just stayed content with whoever they were with at the time.

I’m not sure that there’s anything wrong with that. You could easily settle for someone and live a happy life. Because  I think eventually, everyone technically settles.

You could fall in love with anyone if you really tried. In most cases, you could make any relationship work if both parties are willing to put in the work. You don’t have to be in fireworks, fairytale love to have a decent marriage and future life.

For the people who have never thought about it as settling, it’s easy to fall in a pattern and get comfortable with someone and spend your life with them.

For the people who are painfully aware of what settling is, they question everything. What if I find a better job? What if a better apartment opens up next week? What if I’m just making this person work for me because they’re here and I’m ready?

Are relationships just based off timing? Do we all settle in some way because were ready to fall in love and someone is there to fall in love with? I really think that all of that is true, that there is more than one soul mate for you on this earth, that you could truly make anyone your soul mate if you both tried hard enough. If you are both willing to settle.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikahiironniemi/

5 Things To Do When You’re Overthinking

I’m a serious over-thinker. To the point where I often get in my own way, get migraines, or just give up because I am thinking everything to death. If you’re anything like me, here are 5 things that can help you stop overthinking and start living.

  1. Journaling
    How 6th grade self of you, right? But I bought myself a pretty cute faux-leather journal that I just write all my thoughts down into when I’m anxiety ridden. It doesn’t have to be beautiful poetry or profound writings, sometimes I just write that I ate a banana that morning and I call it a day.
  2. Coloring
    I now realize there is a pattern to doing things you used to do when you were young, so there’s something to be said about that. Coloring allows you to let out frustrations and focus on something other than your crazy brain. Go buy an adult coloring book, like now.
  3. Take a nap
    Don’t tell me you don’t have time or don’t take naps. If you are stressed enough, the naps will come.
  4. Organize
    I’m not a big fan of cleaning, but I know that it helps distract a lot of people while also getting something productive done. I usually just take out my planner and organize my whole life into it.
  5. Recall a time when you weren’t overthinking
    I know it feels like something that is consistently going on, but there are times when you’re not overthinking. It could depend on the people you’re with, the place you’re at, something you’re doing, etc. But pinpoint those times and revisit them when you just can’t shut it off.
hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/59152532@N05/

Does Your Blog Have A Facebook Page?

Hi friends!

I’m probably on every form of social media out there, but this summer I’m working on building up my Facebook page🙂 I would love it if any of you on Facebook, personally or professionally, would give my page a like here: https://www.facebook.com/hookupcultures/

I want to get to 450 likes by the end of the summer – it’s on my bucket list.

And if you have a Facebook page for your blog I would be more than happy to like it! Please drop a link to your Facebook page in the comments and I’ll give it a like🙂

Happy summer xoxo

Rosie

The Hookup On: Places I Want To Visit

I have this very unorganized list in my planner of places I want to go, so I figured I’d write it all down here. Feel free to leave a comment about your favorite place to visit🙂

        1. Toronto
        2. Portland
        3. Seattle
        4. Niagara Falls
        5. Nashville (I’m going in September!)
        6. Mt. Rushmore
        7. Washington DC (Hopefully going by the end of summer!)
        8. Austin
        9. San Francisco
        10. Boston
        11. Boulder
        12. Ireland
        13. Australia
        14. Alaska
        15. Disney World
        16. Aruba
        17. Arkansas
        18. Mexico
        19. Mall of America
        20. Chicago
        21. Montreal
        22. Dominican Republic
        23. Italy (But I want to go again!)
        24. Hawaii
        25. Bahamas
        26. Iceland (Going in January!)
        27. France
        28. Vancouver
        29. New Orleans
        30. Great Lakes
        31. Egypt
        32. Baltimore
        33. Charlotte
        34. Barcelona
        35. Miami
        36. Atlanta
        37. London
hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/turnupthesun/